THE NEED FOR ADVENTURE, CONNECTION AND LOVE
Why I decided to drive 12 hours to go on a first date
What’s the most effort you put into a first connection? A first adventure? Any adventure or connection???
A couple months back I was on a dating app called “meet mindful” a more, well, mindful way to online date, folks seemed to actually put some serious thought into their profiles and it felt way more personal than swiping people’s faces one direction or the other.
I met with a girl named Allie who was a women’s health coach, chef and world traveler. We had an immediate connection over Bali, meditation, raw vegan food and service to others. Conversations flowed and I very much looked forward to meeting her. The downside, while she had planned to move to San Diego months ago, a health challenge in her family brought her home to Michigan from her current home of Ashland Oregon and her plans to move to San Diego were on hold because of Covid.
Allie was getting set to host and chef retreats in Kauai so it seemed like her San Diego move would be a long time coming, if at all (I mean it’s beautiful here, but have you seen Hawaii?!). Then she said, “why don’t you come up to Ashland, we can go on adventures.” I think both of us were pretty shocked that it felt like a good idea to meet a relative stranger in such fashion. I myself had been feeling the pull to get out of San Diego and into nature, specifically forests, and so I said OK, I’ll come up in a few days.
The signs were immediately there that I was headed in the right direction, aside from having no retreats or major events planned all of my clients were getting busy with back to school and other events so my schedule was serendipitously light. I was excited at the thought of this long road trip -- listening to podcasts, getting to see more of California, driving my new car and the feeling of freedom, adventure and the unknown.
I LOVE human connection. Whether it is in a yoga class, a coffee shop, talking to strangers on dog walks or the check out person at the supermarket, I thrive off of connection. Deep connection however, requires effort. Not necessarily an interstate 12 hour drive amount of effort, but effort. To truly see and be seen takes effort.
It’s funny, I often debate, both externally and internally, whether we are better off with our devices (phones, laptops, tablets) or whether it has sullied our ability to truly connect with people. I would have never connected with Allie had it not been for this incredible technology, but the days we spent off our phones, hiking up mountains and swimming across lakes reminded me of what makes my soul feel good. Connection and adventure.
I was listening to a commencement speech given by Jim Carrey at Maharishi University and he talked about how his dad could have been a great comedian but took the “safe” job as an accountant instead, only to lose said job. In many ways my journalism career and life in New York were “safe” until it wasn’t and I got fired. He said you could fail at something you don’t love doing so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.
People questioned me driving 12 hours to go meet Allie and ya know what, they were wrong. People questioned me about leaving corporate to teach yoga and ya know what, they were wrong. People questioned me going to Bali the first time, second time… fifth time, and ya know what, they were wrong. When I look back over my life I doubt I’ll miss the paychecks and the time spent doing what other people wanted me to do but I’m sure I won’t doubt the adventures I went on and the connections I made.
All things come and go, including this body we’re in, shouldn’t we say yes to more adventures and connections? Yes to more love and no to more fear.